Stalk List 2011

I would like to present to you the people that I will be stalking in the upcoming year. Some people have fallen off the list because quite frankly, they are not that important for me to stalk anymore. There are some new entries on the list. It will be easy for me to stalk about 90% of the people on this list because they live or have ties to London. Oh and also...I'd just like to say that I'm not really going to stalk President Obama just in case this is read by the secret service or his people like the FBI.... but if you ARE reading this....give him my phone number anyways.

The List

President Barack Obama

I love this man so much so that after I graduate, I might move to D.C. just to see him. No I won't pull a Monica Lewinsky. Maybe more of a Marilyn Monroe perhaps.

Alesha Dixon

She is a born and bred Londoner and I want to be her best girlfriend/secret crush/girl crush/stalker/single white(black) female sort of thing. She's an English singer for those that don't know her and she's GORG! Wherever she performs, I'm going to be there and she does perform around London often.

Ledley King

He's a football player for Tottenham Hotspurs which is a premiership football team in London. He's cute, he likes to drink and he's always in the clubs in London. He's sort of a bad boy. I like him and I'm going to be wherever he is in 2011.

Amy Winehouse

She just moved into my neighborhood in London and I'm super excited although the neighborhood association is not. I wonder if she would call the police on me if I camp outside her house since she is a neighbor and all. Better yet, I could bake some scones and take them to her as a neighborly thing to do....you know, to welcome her into the neighborhood.

Thierry Henry

My love, who use to play for Arsenal which is a north London premiership football team. Although he plays for the New York Red Bulls now, his ex wife and daughter still live in London and he comes back often. I'll just sleep at Heathrow airport and wait for him to walk through the terminal and then I'll make my move and let him know that I love him more than anything and we're meant to be together. I wonder if he would bail me out of jail once Heathrow security gets a hold of me?

Pharrell Williams

Rapper, singer, producer, fashion designer and my future baby daddy. Yes he is someone else's baby daddy now but he can have more than one baby mama. That's the American way. He use to date another person on my stalk list (Alesha Dixon) but I don't care about that. Although he doesn't live in London, I know he visits often so I'll just keep my eyes open and troll his website to see when he's coming to London again.

John Carew

He's another footballer (I'm not a groupie) that plays for Aston Villa which is based in Birmingham but that's not too far from London. Plus he comes to the capital often to party. Maybe I'll fly to Norway (his homeland) and knock on his mom's door and profess my love for him to her. I'm sure Norwegian jails aren't that bad once the police get a hold of me.

And finally my one and only Ashley Cole

For those that don't know him, he is a premiership footballer that plays for Chelsea FC. It's based in west London. I could easily go to Stamford Bridge (where they play) and camp out or lurk about and when he walks out, just profess my love for him. It's pretty easy to stalk Ashley because he parties in Central London all the time. He's always in some club in the West End. Although he seems to go after trashy girls, once he sees all of this pla-dow and pla-dow, he'll change his tune. And if he doesn't, I'll make him.

Happy Stalking and Happy New Year!!

New Year's Resolutions Are For Suckers!

Do you make New Year's resolutions? And do you change the name to make it appear less cheesy like New Year's goals, challenges, aspirations or any other word you could pull out the air? I secretly make New Year's resolutions. I don't really tell anyone because everyone around me thinks making resolutions are for losers. I guess I'm a secret loser because I like to make them. I even write them down. By January 15th, the paper my "goals" were written on are in a trash bin somewhere and I've forgotten about it. But for those 2 weeks up to the chucking in the trash bin, I try to stick with them.

I sadly make the SAME goals/aspirations/resolutions/lies every year. The typical lies on my list are:

1. Quit biting my nails. Yes I am a chronic nail biter. No dinner today? How about my nails? Stressful paper to write? Bite my nails. Just been dumped? Bite my nails. Wake up and breathe? Bite my nails. I think this is something psychological and I need to probably talk to a shrink. Hey! Maybe that will be on my resolution list! To get a shrink.

2. Eat healthier. Now this is a goal that I do in spells. If I know I have something important to do and need to fit into a cute dress or something, then I will actually put down the hamburger and eat a salad. But just for a day. I'd really like to make this a lifestyle change but sadly....I like chicken and burgers too much.

3. Lose 10 pounds/exercise. Okay, this goal is something that I do. I use to exercise regularly but since moving to London, the only exercise I get is walking to the tube stations, the bus stop, McDonalds and to the little store up the street from my place for a bottle of wine. Which brings me to my next lie...I mean goal.

4. Stop drinking. This is a lie from the devil. That is all.

5. Travel.  This is something that is attainable in 2011. I will definitely take advantage of the inexpensive airfare and close proximity of other countries. So I can actually see this happening.

6. Pay credit cards off. Well this coincides with my next goal because if it happens, then I'll just get him to pay them off.

7. Find a rich boyfriend/husband/stalkee/lover/activities partner.  It's very possible. I'm in a new city of cute guys from all of the world. I can see this happening.

8. Get rid of bad rubbish. I absolutely do this every year. I cut ties with someone every year. It's usually an ex that is trying to come back into my life. Meh...this is very easy to do and very therapeutic.

9. Make alot of money. I hear there are brothels in London. We'll see.

10. Be happy. I work hard on this everyday. This is a life goal and not just a new year's goal.

So you see my friends, resolutions and goals are good to make. My goal for 2010 was to move to London and I reached that goal. That was my one and only goal made for this year. So hopefully, with the blessing of the universe, I can reach the goals I've set up for 2011.

I hope everyone who reads this have a wonderful and safe new year! Don't drink and drive kiddies!

Home For The Holidays

I don't have much to write except I'm back in Arkansas! I endured an 8 hour flight from London to Atlanta. Endured Customs in Atlanta which is hell on earth. If I died and went to hell, it would look like the Customs line. Then went to Memphis and then onward to Little Rock. I'm so happy to be home. Southern cooking and southern food, southern people and southern hospitality. I didn't realize how homesick I was until I landed and saw familiar landmarks and streets. Just driving around Little Rock was so fun and wonderful! So I've been hanging out with my family. I have a southern, loud family that like to eat, drink and be merry! And that's just what we have been doing. I don't miss London yet and I'll be here for 2 weeks so I'm just going to hang with my friends and family and have as much fun as possible with people who have warm smiles and look at the sunshine!

Just Say NO To Snow!!

Awwww....snow.....isn't it pretty??? Um...NO! It was pretty the first couple of days and now it's just plain annoying. It's causing so much havoc in Londontown. You know...like shutting Heathrow Airport down for a few days! I don't think Londoners are use to this weather. Hell I'm not either.  All I know is that I'm ready for the snow to leave so life can return back to normal here of people walking really fast (can't do that in the snow) and seeing dog crap on the sidewalks and buses being on time. Well....instead of being incredibly late due to snow, just going back to being "normal" late. I did go out and enjoy the snow....check out my pictures below. I wish I could've made a snow angel but London has way too much dog shit on the sidewalks and streets to even THINK about doing that.

Me getting frisky with the snowgirl.

Slutty Snowgirl showing her boobs

random snow dog

Tasty Tuesdays? Yes Please!

Sooooooo everyone who knows me closely knows that I love this man below.....

 I could give a shit about David Beckham who is in the pic with Ashley below. He's aiight..........Yes I know my Ashley and Beckham look a little bromance (ish) or some might say a little gay, especially with my Ashley having his hand down his pants, but that's ok....I can overlook that.

But Ashley Cole has some competition.....I present to you soccer greatness.....Thierry Henry.....please bow.

He's French and he's cute. I've actually loved him longer than Ashley Cole. Thierry use to play for Arsenal as did my Ashley (you know, MY team based here in North London) but now he's in the U.S. playing for the New York Red Bulls soccer team. Just when I thought I would meet him here in London he moves across the pond. He use to be married to some chick that used 2 different names for her pseudo modeling career and had a baby with her. So the 2 different names chick is in London along with his adorable daughter (trying to win points with him just in case he reads this). So TiTi as he is affectionately called by his fans (my little 3 year old nephew calls me TiTi so you see how perfect we are for each other) visits London often. Yes I know he has a girlfriend who is living with him in New York and who isn't all that pretty in my opinion. I mean my first love Ashley Cole's ex-wife was prettier than Thierry's chick. I'm not a hater. I'm just saying.....But anyways, I love him but I don't know if I will love him more than Ashley. I mean, they are both mega rich footballers (soccer players for my American friends out there that bother to read this thing), and both handsome but they have both been accused of cheating on their former spouses which doesn't look good and I notice they both were married to girls of lighter hues but they are footballers so I'm sure the hue of the woman doesn't matter just as long as she's breathing and that's me.

What Happened To My Beloved President???

 I won't discuss politics in my blog. I'm very passionate about being a Liberal to the disgust of my Conservative friends. I WILL however discuss the sexiness of my beloved President Barack Obama. I probably shouldn't speak like this of The President of The United States but it's enough blogs out there talking about his policies. I don't give a crap about politics right now. I want to talk about how FINE this man is BUT...but...but...but...but....what has happened to him????? I don't keep up with the U.S. news as much as I should since being here in London. Not because I'm not interested because I am but because dammit, I've got shit to do like find a boyfriend and oh and studying. But anyways, my President use to look so youthful and full of life. He use to have a fire in his eye as well as that....you know you want it look! He doesn't have that anymore. He's gray (which is still very very sexy) and has lost his youthful looks. The same happened to President Bill Clinton (from my home state!), he was all sexy and slick when he got into the Oval Office and when he left, his hair was as white as Santa Clause!

President Obama has not just the weight of the country on his shoulders but the weight of the world. I read recently that he is considered to be the most powerful man on earth. If that doesn't turn a man's hair gray, then I don't know what will! I mean he's still handsome and has major major presidential swag but damn, he's looking old and tired. He's looking broke down and sometimes he looks sad. Where is that fire Mr. President?? Where is that youthful appeal you use to have?? Have the Republicans stolen it from you?? Well if they have, get it back!! I think older men who are gray are handsome and refined but President Obama is not old at all so I can't see him in that refined category yet. I see him in that...if I were working at the mall at the department store and he came in looking for some shoes, I'd slip my number to him category. He's so incredibly handsome and sexy. I probably shouldn't have these thoughts about my president but look, he's the damn president! He's got money and all that power! Wow Michelle Obama is one lucky ass lady! I wish I could hate her but because she's such a class act, then I won't. But she needs to put some youthfulness back into my president. I could tell her what she should do but she probably already knows and secondly, my parents read this blog so it wouldn't be appropriate.
    

Where Are All The Cute Boys????

Soooooooo one of the first questions I was asked when I first came to London was what are the men like? And my answer is..........................................................................................................................

Yep, dating in London SUCKS for me. But I'm glad it's not just me because some of my classmates have conveyed to me that their dating life sucks here too. And these are BEAUTIFUL girls with accents that sound alot sexier and more exotic than mine! I've been out on some dates with a couple of guys. Even kissed a few guys. I'll just stop you right there though. So anyways, I've liked some people. Still like someone here as a matter of fact. I'll just call him Mr. X.  Mr. X from the motherland of Africa. Strong, tall, dark, super super cute and an asshole. Yes Mr. X and I went out several times and hung out and I liked him and still do but he was a little too arrogant for me. Mr. X conveyed to me that girls in London chase him and he's not use to someone like me. I told him that I'm an American southern woman and we don't chase. We get chased. Mr. X didn't believe me. So I showed Mr. X better than I could tell him. I didn't talk to Mr. X for a couple of weeks. Then as of last week, Mr. X has been blowing my phone up with calls, texts and has sent me skype messages. Today I get a message saying, "I miss my American girl. Please come back to me."  I was like awwwwwwwwwwwwwww Mr. X! It made my heart melt. Truly. But I'm kinda over him to be honest. He's in law school and busier than me and again, I can't really overlook his arrogance. Then Mr. D. Oh my word....I thought I was going to have to call Scotland Yard on this fool. Mr. D is an American. Attractive, no kids, never married and is in a very good profession. I wondered why he was available. I figured it out. He's a looney bin. Yes, Mr. D is crazy as hell! I can't really get into all of the crazy things this young man did but let's just say, it was something I had never experienced before. Well not with someone I only went out with 3 times. But he's blocked from my emails and my phone and I hadn't heard from him in 5 days so I'm doing pretty good.

I came to London thinking some good looking Englishman with an accent like Mr. Darcy in Pride and Prejudice was going to sweep me off my feet. Nope hasn't happened. But I'm still optimistic because I have until 2012 to make things happen with some cute boys. I noticed that the Englishmen are very very reserved and shy. I get looks and stares from them but the only ones that approach me are the aggressive African brothas (and trust me, I like the Africans boys), or crazies like Mr. D! I'm still optimistic though. London has alot of good looking men of every race and culture and they seem very focused on their careers or schooling and I like that. So when I get back to London in January, I'll get back out there and see what the dating scene is like. But for now, I've got to finish my essays! Ciao!

There's No Place Like Home

Our native son, former president Bill Clinton

I'm going home on Christmas Eve and I CANNOT wait! I haven't been home since September! Don't get me wrong. I love London. I really do but it's not home. It's not America and it's certainly not Arkansas. Ah my Arkansas....how I miss thee! The land of sunshine, tornadoes from March to September, Arkansas Razorbacks (who's going to the Sugar Bowl by the way!!!), barbecue, 100+ degree temperatures for weeks in the summer, tall cotton fields, the home of beautiful lakes and rivers and some of the friendliest and beautiful people on earth. The home of the mighty Arkansas River, the famous and only natural diamond mine in the country, the birthplace of Johnny Cash, Scottie Pippen, Billy Bob Thorton and of course former president Bill Clinton. Where people who aren't even sports fans are proud of our Razorbacks! The land where football is king. Whether it's little league or college. The birthplace of WalMart! Yes, you shop at Walmart. I know you do. The place of good old fashion southern cooking! The land where people make eye contact and say hello and they don't have to know you. The place that if you need to cut in traffic, someone will let you and even WAVE at you! I miss Arkansas so much. The friendliness and warmth of her! When I was home, I was bitching everyday to leave now my heart longs for her and can't wait to see her again.

Rude London Pigeons

So anyone that reads my Facebook statuses know I don't like the pigeons in London. They are rude, intrusive and selfish and they believe they own the sidewalks of London. They are not like American pigeons. See American pigeons are smart. They know that when they see a human, to run in a different direction or fly off somewhere. London pigeons?? No they don't do that. They try to block your paths and strong arm you into giving them food. Well I really don't know if it's food or money that they are looking for. All I know is that they are very bold. You can walk by a London pigeon and he won't flinch a feather or anything. They just stand there looking at me like, "I'm not stepping to the side." And I'm looking at them like, "Well I'm not either."  And the intrusive pigeon is, "Well one of us is going to move and it ain't me sister."  So guess what?? I move to the opposite side of the street or take a reaaaaaallllly long step around this intrusive bastard of a pigeon. They are dangerous and mean. And they are so inconsiderate. I could be standing there minding my own business and here comes a pigeon walking right next to me like it's no big deal! Are you serious pigeon??? I mean I know urban sprawl has created uncomfortable surroundings for you but London has so many parks for you to roam! I swear, the next intrusive and rude pigeon that comes my way, I'm not going to be responsible for my actions. I'm from the south and we eat pigeons. Just want to put that out there just in case another pigeon decides to run up on me as seen in the picture I took above.

He's a cheating scumbag....hey....I can overlook that!

My Ashley

Dear Ashley,

Ashley Cole....my dear Ashley....I've been obsessed with you for 2 years. Yes you were married to the UK's sweetheart Cheryl Cole and you cheated on her numerous times and you're a dirty low down rat, but you're soooo cute and so rich. You remind me of an ex I use to kick it with. Being a Premiership Footballer doesn't hurt your chances with me. I know you're use to fakeness like Cheryl Cole and girls of lighter hues, but you haven't seen me or met me. I'm fine. So you might want to convert. Hey, if it's just for a night, I can live with that. I don't want anything serious anyways. I've got guys way better than you waiting in the wings. But again, you're a Premiership Footballer and you're rich plus you're so cute. I mean, how could I forget those sext text pictures you sent to different girls showing what you got in your boxers that The Sun printed for the whole nation to see?? And yes Cheryl divorced you but she didn't understand you Ashley. It got to me Ashley and now my mission is to meet you. I'll hang out at Chinawhites and The Embassy and whatever other trashy club that footballers of your kind hang out. And hey, if you're not available...Give my number to Cheryl. She's pretty hot and if she's not taking your calls then give Didier Drogba my number. In fact, I'd rather meet him anyways because...well...Ashley, he's cuter than you. Oh wait....nevermind...he's married.

Sincerely,

Your Stalker....I mean fan!

Beat it Cheryl...Get Lost!

Cheryl looking pissed after the cheating allegations became public.

Didier Drogba! I mean, how could you not???

The Wedding of the Decade!!

Am I the only one excited on this side of the of the ocean about the royal wedding?? I think I might be! My American friends over here really don't give a crap. But I can tell you that my mom back at home is super excited and so are my friends back in the States. It's not that I think the British are over the royal family as it is that they see royal weddings, pomp and circumstances and all that jazz all the time so although they are excited, they are not as super excited as their American cousins. Well at least the ones I know!

William and Kate are getting married in April. I am soooooo going to be at Westminster Abbey. I'll be outside, waving the British flag, dressed like an Eskimo(because I'm sure it's still going to be cold) and cheering! I really can't wait. I remember watching Princess Diana and Prince Charles getting married. It was on every t.v. station in the the States and I remember watching, thinking how elegant and pretty Princess Diana was and how blah I felt about the Prince! But Prince William seems to be well liked here and Kate Middleton has the unfortunate position of being compared to Princess Diana at every moment. Poor thing! Well since William is off the market, I can still try for Harry! Hey look, it can be a black princess or queen!! For all of those out there that don't know....Queen Charlotte was of African origin. Look her up so it's not like it's that far fetched! Cheers!!

World Aids Day

World Aids Day was yesterday and I really had to reflect on the what it meant to me. When I was home, I use to volunteer with my local Aids Foundation. I did the Aids Walk in my city 3 years in a row. I'm passionate about this cause. I have a very close friend that is living with the disease and so I felt I needed to contribute in some way. I definitely don't do enough. I definitely want to do some volunteering  with an Aids Charity whilst in London. But anyways, just remember those that are living with the disease and those that have died from this disease. Get tested and be careful. Don't hold any prejudices. Get educated and know that a hug, a kiss or holding hands with someone with this disease will not infect you. It's 2010 and I hear people this very day saying that you can catch HIV/AIDS by kissing someone. It's too much information out there to be ignorant. As for me, I know my status. Hope you know yours!!

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life! -Samuel Johnson

 This is my first official blog post. After much persuasion from my professors and friends, I decided to blog. I probably won't do this often because quite frankly, I'm not that interesting and neither is my life. I'm just a 30 something broad working on a Masters in Media and Communications.
 What brought me to London? Glad you asked! Well I have an undergraduate degree in English. Being an English major, I had to learn about the British, their history, their poets, their play writers, their authors and everything else. So I started to develop this obsessive love affair for Britain. I would sit in my 19th Century British Literature class and dream of being over there. I would dream of walking down the same streets as Shakespeare. I wanted to be in the same country where my hero, Emily Bronte, lived and died. I wanted to be where Christina Rossetti would write her poetry. Tennyson, Byron, Shelley, Wordsworth and others that I admired and loved.  It was all quite weird honestly. Here I am....a black chick studying at a historically black college dreaming of going to England?? When I presented the idea to my family and friends, I got weird looks and smirks. No one believe me when I said I was going to come here. I didn't know how or when but I was going to be in England. No matter what!
  So one of my professors (shout out to Dr. Steele) suggested that I think of attending graduate school overseas. She spent some time studying in England and enjoyed it and thought maybe I would enjoy the experience. I had looked into other means of getting to London besides school because quite frankly, I hate school. But with the strict immigration laws of the British land, I had to settle on going to school which was the easiest way for me to get here. Fast forward......after applying to different schools, choosing what I wanted to study and all that jazz, I was able to get here. The visa process was a pain and nerve wracking, the loan process was hell, finding an affordable place to live in London was absolute shit! But alas....I made it! I'm here! London for all it's faults of being expensive, dirty, cold, busy and basically a shit hole is one of the most beautiful places ever! Sure the people aren't overly friendly like Americans but they are polite and helpful. Coming from Arkansas, I am use to sunshine and warm weather and friendly smiles. I don't get that in London. But that's ok because I feel so blessed to be here! It was hard work to get here. No one believed me. But I'm here! **Sigh**
  The fish and chips are awesome, the full English breakfasts are amazing!! (who knew having french fries/chips with breakfast was so good)? I can't get with the beans on toast. I'm sorry. I just absolutely cannot do it. Not if I were paid to eat it. I am beginning to like Soccer (football). I think I should become an Arsenal fan. They are in North London and so am I. See how logic works here?? Calling elevators lifts is different and calling cookies biscuits is....um.....weird?? But I'm getting use to it. It's cool. It really  is!
  I guess in this blog I'll talk about everything that I'm going through? I don't know how this blog thing works. I'm doing this to have a diary of some sort. I won't write everything. I mean, I have parents and professors that I dare not embarrass! But I'll post as much as I can!!