Forget Valentine's Day! It's All About President's Day!

Yes! I have gotten through that most dreadful holiday that we call Valentine's Day or as my father likes to say SAINT Valentine's Day (to make it appear less pagan and more Christian). Valentine's day for me was nothing special. The guy I like is 5,000 miles away so obviously I couldn't see him which kinda sucked. I don't like any of the nerds here in London, ALTHOUGH my Nigerian friend asked me to dinner. I told him some tripped out story to get out of it. Trust me....it was for good reason. I shall talk about the crazy Nigerian at a later date. Right now I shall talk about my real love, President Barack Obama since the next holiday upon us as Americans is Presidents Day( February 21st).

Ah Presidents Day. The most random holiday ever. I can't remember if the banks are closed or not or if the liquor stores stay open extra late. Well who cares anyways. It's another holiday to celebrate with a possible day off and and the opportunity to drink. In honor of Presidents Day, I've written a short poem to declare my love for President Barack Obama. Yes, I love him. Sorry Michelle.

Oh How I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

when you walk so presidential,

I swoon and I sway.

You look so good making presidential speeches

And you look so sexy on those Hawaiian beaches.

When you had your shirt off frolicking in the water,

I didn't think you could get any hotter.

You are the man of my presidential dreams

If I ever see you in person, I'd probably scream.

The secret service would carry me off,

But not before I try to take your pants off.

Yes Michelle would probably beat my ass

But I don't care because I'm trying to get a pass

Into the Oval Office to do the naughty

So you can see me in all of my glory.

Mr. President, I love you so much

Could there possibly be a chance for us?

I won't run my mouth like Monica Lewinsky

All you would have to do is pay me

For my silence and I can guarantee

That the press won't even find out about me.

I might tell my mom though because she loves you

You might have to pay her for her silence too.

So I salute you Mr. President,

I hope my love for you is evident,

In this stupid, tacky, trashy poem

Now let me get back to watching porn.

I hope he reads it and sees the love I have for him!

Such Swag! God I love him!!!